


Waking Nightmares

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-29
Updated: 2010-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:57:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3502520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skwisgaar has a little hobby of drugging and raping in the night.  Because he can, because he likes how powerful it makes him feel.<br/>Pairing: Skwisgaar/ Nathan, implied Skwisgaar/ others<br/>Warnings: rape</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking Nightmares

Nathan was conscious, but just barely. He couldn’t move when he tried, it was like all his limbs weighed hundreds of pounds. This wasn’t normal. He managed to crack his eyes open.  
He was on a bed, _his_ bed. And someone was touching him.  
“What... “ He could talk, but it was a huge effort. “What the... fuck?”  
The person with him stood, moving into his field of vision. Skwisgaar.  
“Damnsit, I shoulds has gives you more. Oh wells, next time.”

“Huh?”  
“Don’ts be worries Nathans, you ams going to tink it ams all a dreams. Probablies won’t even remembers in de mornings.” Skwisgaar started shoving at him, trying to roll him over. “You could really loses some damn weights, you ams really heavies.” He finally succeeded.  
Nathan lay awkwardly, one arm trapped under him where he’d rolled across it, his face pressed against his pillow. 

Worrisome things were in his limited field of vision, the worst was the condom wrapper. It was _empty_ , which meant-  
Nathan felt something cool and slick prodding at his asshole. No! He tried to move, resist, object, _anything_... but his body refused to respond at all. Whatever he’d been given was stronger than he was.  
“Don’ts be worries, it won’t hurts. You has lots of de nice relaxers.”

He wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ just lay here and let Skwisgaar fuck him, which was clearly just what he intended to do. “Uhhhrrrr!” A grunt of objection was all he could manage to get out.  
But he could feel everything. The horrible invasive sensation as Skwisgaar pushed into his limp body with sickening ease. It didn’t hurt physically, but it was tearing him apart mentally.  
And it was slow and careful, that was somehow harder to bear than if he’d been violent about it.

Nathan could feel it moving inside him, he wanted it _out_. He wanted to beat Skwisgaar, to tear him to pieces. To kill him. He _would_ have at that moment if he’d been able.  
But he was helpless against this assault, frozen in place. He had no idea why this was even happening.  
It seemed to go on forever, that horrible sliding feeling inside him, the soft impact of bony hips against his ass.

After what seemed like an eternity, Skwisgaar finally withdrew.  
Then a damp rag, as all traces of the act were cleaned up so there would be no evidence in the morning. Skwisgaar gathered his things and leaned close to Nathan’s ear. “You ams not goings to be tellings anyone. It ams all de dreams. And what woulds you says anyway, dat you dreams about me fuckings you? Pfft, I don’t tinks so.”  
And then he was gone.

****

When Nathan woke up, his room was filled with sunlight. He remembered everything.  
But _was_ it real? He was still lying on his stomach, he never slept that way. But maybe it was his odd sleeping posture that had caused him to have such a nightmare?  
But if it was real, had been real... How could Skwisgaar do that to him? And he couldn’t ask, couldn’t admit that it might have really happened.  
It wasn’t a dream, it was way too real, too horrible. Besides, he shouldn’t be able to imagine something he’d never experienced, not that clearly.

He got up carefully, assessing himself. If it was real, his ass should hurt, right?  
It didn’t. But something about muscle relaxers... that could have prevented any pain. How could you tell if you’d been drugged? He felt like he’d slept very well, which was completely at odds with thinking he’d been raped in the night.  
That was probably proof. Was it only him, or did it happen to everyone?  
But he couldn’t even ask if the others if they had any strange dreams.

Cautiously, suspiciously, Nathan went out to join his bandmates.  
Everything seemed to be distressingly normal, everybody was acting like they always did in the mornings. Afternoons, whatever.  
Even Skwisgaar, acting like nothing had happened. What if... What if nothing really _did_ happen? What if it was really all a very bad dream? No it wasn’t a dream, he was almost certain of that. _Almost_.  
Nathan soon retreated back to his room to think.

'Oh wells, next time.' He remembered those words, couldn’t forget them. Skwisgaar planned to do it again, and he wouldn’t even know when it happened.  
Nathan couldn’t accept that level of helplessness.  
He would sleep with his door locked from now on, but he wasn’t sure if that would do any good. They all had keys to each other’s rooms, somewhere anyway. And just because he wasn’t sure where his set might currently be didn’t mean that Skwisgaar had also lost track of his own copies.

****

As the days passed, Nathan was afraid to sleep. Of course he could only stay awake so long, and then would sleep deeply for hours and awake in a panic. What if something had happened while he was asleep? _What if_?  
The others were starting to give him odd looks, and that was almost worse. What if they suspected?  
Skwisgaar was acting like everything was fine, that was proof wasn’t it?  
Nathan wasn’t sure how long he could go on like this.

Pickles had dropped a few invitations to talk, but it was Toki who wouldn’t take the hint and leave it alone. If something was upsetting _Nathan_ , it must be something really horrible. “Nathan, we can’ts helps you if you doesn’t tell us what’s wrong.”  
Toki was ignored, but Nathan had been thinking. Maybe if he wasn’t alone he could sleep? But Pickles was always so fucked up, and Murderface... well he often smelled. That left Toki as his only real option. The more he thought about it, the better it sounded.

“Toki, will you sleep with me?”  
Toki stared at him in shock. “I don’ts know how many times I has to tells you all this, but I’s not gay!”  
“No! I mean, I don’t wanna fuck you. That’s not what I meant! It would just be like, um... a slumber party?”  
“What’s that means?”  
“Where you uh, wear pajamas and sleep in the same bed. And like, tell stories or something.”  
“Oh.” Toki shrugged. “Okays then.”

That night, it was a little weird. Made weirder by both of them trying to pretend so hard that it _wasn’t_ weird.  
Toki showed up wearing pajama pants, and Nathan was wearing sweat pants since he normally slept in his underwear and owned no pajamas. They got into the bed, careful to stay well on their own sides.  
“Okays Nathan, what’s the stories?”  
“Uh, what story?”  
“Why you wants me to sleeps here. You says you’s going to tells me the stories.”

“No! Because um, there’s nothing to tell?” What had he said? He couldn’t remember exactly, but he was sure he hadn’t said ‘come to my bed and I’ll tell you everything.’ He tried to think fast. “Uh, maybe you can tell em a story? Yeah.”  
Toki could be pretty agreeable at times. “Okays, about whats?”  
“I don’t know, just make something up.”  
Toki thought for a moment. “Once upon a times there was this king named Toki who was the bestest king in the whole worlds.”  
“But that’s your name!”  
“It’s just a coincidences, don’ts interrupts.”

Nathan shut up and listened with a smile.  
“So anyways, he’s the king and he has all the most beautiful goils arounds him all the times. And they does anything he wants them too. But sometime he shares them with his friends, because he’s a nice kings. When he’s not killings peoples. Because there’s lots of peoples who needs to die, for being stupid or whatevers.  
Anyways, he lives in this big castle and has a pet dragons. And all the people in the worlds loves him best.”

Toki paused. “Sorries Nathan, I’s not real good at making up stories. You wants me to try to does more?”  
“Uh...” It was a pretty sucky story, really. “You don’t have to. We can just like, go to sleep now. If you want?”  
“Nathan...” He knew Nathan wasn’t going to tell him whatever this was really about. “Never minds, we can sleeps. You’s got a pretty nice beds, I likes it.”  
“Yeah, it’s an awesome bed.” When nobody was raping him in it, anyway.  
They drifted off to sleep.

Nathan woke up to someone touching him and panicked. No, not again! He lashed out defensively, at least he could move this time.  
“Ow! Fuck Nathan, I’s sorries! I just rolls over in my sleep!” Toki was awake now, and scrambled off the bed and out of reach.  
“Why are you in my bed?! Oh right... I asked you to sleep here. Um, I’m sorry? You okay?”  
“Ja, but damns you hits hard!” He cautiously crawled back on the bed and sat cross-legged. “Why don’t you just tells me what’s wrongs?”  
Nathan shook his head. “I can’t, it’s too embarrassing.”

“I’s not going to makes fun of you. Besides, you’d kills me for it.”   
“I SAID NO!” He could only be pushed so far, no matter how gently. “In fact... I think I need to be alone now. Would you leave? I mean, do you mind? It’s kinda the middle of the night.”  
“If you wants me to leave, I leaves.” He wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of maybe accidentally rolling over again and getting beat on some more. “I gives up, you decides you wants to tells me what the fucks this is about, you know where to finds me.” He climbed off the bed and left the room.  
It took Nathan a long time to fall back asleep.

****

Several nights later, Nathan went to bed early and woke up lying on his stomach. Again.  
Feeling sick, he headed straight for the shower. Had it happened again? He suspected so, but it was impossible to tell for sure.  
He scrubbed himself until the water ran cold, but he still didn’t feel clean. He didn’t know if he would ever feel clean again.  
Rape was supposed to be something that happened to stupid women who were in bad places after dark. Not to men, not to _him_. And not in his own damn bedroom, the place where he should feel the safest.

****

Skwisgaar waited over a week this time, Nathan hadn’t been acting right. He must have some shred of memory, or at least some suspicions. But surely he didn’t know it was him.  
He had to do it again, he couldn’t resist. Nathan was different than the others, so much bigger and stronger. Doing that to him and getting away with it was a high like he’d found in nothing else, it made him feel powerful, invincible.  
He’d resisted as long as he could, but he just _had_ to do it again.  
Nathan had been locking his door, but that was okay. He had a key, he’d always had all their keys. He’d let himself into all their rooms at some point over the years, into _them_ , always undetected.

Nathan was dead weight, he’d gotten the dose perfect now.   
After his usual preparations, Skwisgaar positioned himself the best he could and entered him. It was every bit as intense as the last time, and the time before. The mental high being even greater than the physical.  
Nathan was large and solid beneath him, slick and yielding around him.  
The last thing he’d expected was to be interrupted, but that’s what happened.

Toki had been completely absorbed in a model he was building, so deep that he worked right through tired. When he finally set his tools down and looked at the clock, he was surprised how late it was. It hadn’t felt nearly that long... no wonder his shoulder were so stiff.  
He should just go to bed, but since he was still up he decided to go get a snack first. He’d stepped into the hall just in time to see Skwisgaar vanishing into Nathan’s bedroom, carrying stuff. Were they having a slumber party?

He knew he should just leave them alone, but he was bored and if they were still awake...  
Indecisive, he stood in the hallway. It was all too quiet.  
They weren’t telling stories, he would be able to hear that. He made up his mind, and silently cracked the door enough to peek inside and saw-  
Oh shit, why were they doing _that_?! He pulled back into the hall. That was- They were-  
But even in his shock, he realized it hadn’t look right. He had to look again, had to be sure.

Nathan lay awkwardly on his stomach, limp and completely unresponsive as Skwisgaar fucked him. His face... He wasn’t awake.  
Toki let the door swing all the way open. “Skwisgar? What the fucks you doings?!”  
Skwisgaar startled, faltering in his rhythm. He had to think fast. He was too close to want to stop, and being caught had just added an unexpected rush to the whole experience. Toki hadn’t moved yet, he only needed another minute...  
Skwisgaar came, then eased himself out. Time to deal with Toki.

“Comes in Toki, how about you ams taking a turns? Don’ts be worries about Nathans, he can’ts feel a ting.”  
Toki shook his head, this was just _wrong_. “Gets away from him!”  
“Pfft, I ams done anyways. You doesn’t know what you ams missing, Little Toki. Comes on, tries it.” He had to sell this, had to make Toki a conspirator.  
“Noes, gets out of here!” He wasn’t going to do it, he couldn’t even figure out why Skwisgaar was doing it.

Skwisgaar sized him up, considering his options. He couldn’t take him physically, especially not when he was already worked up like this. He would have to leave and hope for the best.  
He held his head high as he walked out the door, pretending that everything was fine. There was always the chance that Nathan’s shame and embarrassment would protect him, that was probably the best he could hope for right now.  
He’d never expected to be caught.

Toki watched him leave, than went and locked Nathan’s door. He didn’t know what to do.  
He pulled the blanket up, covering Nathan, and sat on the bed beside him. He should keep watch, or _something_.  
Why did Skwisgaar do it? Was this the first time? And why Nathan?  
He tried to stay awake, to stay on guard, but it was very late and he just couldn’t manage it. He sank lower and lower, eventually giving up and curling up on the edge of the bed.  
He was still keeping watch... sort of.

****

Nathan woke up on his stomach again, and was immediately filled with sick dread. Opening his eyes, he saw Toki sleeping curled up near the foot of the bed like a dog. That was weird. He nudged him with one foot. “Toki? What the hell?”  
Toki woke up, at first confused about where he was. Nathan’s room? Oh, last night...  
He sat up. “Nathan, you’s alrights?”  
“Um, probably not? Why are you in here?”

“Because-“ Toki didn’t know how to really even say it. “I stays to protects you?”  
Why did Toki think he needed protection? What did he know? He _couldn’t_ know... “Toki, fucking explain this shit right now!”  
“Okays! Last night I sees... um, Skwisgaar! In you’s room!”  
Shit! Nathan glared at him. “Doing what?!”  
“You!” Toki backed to the edge of the bed, out of reach. “He was doesing you! I tells him to gets out!”

Nathan dropped back with a groan, covering his face. It was _true_ , it had really happened. And more than once. And... Toki knew.  
Sensing that he wasn’t likely to be killed, Toki crept back closer.   
“Toki? You like, can’t tell anybody about this. Okay?”  
“Noes, that’s not okays! He can’ts just gets away with this! Whats if... Whats if he does it agains? Or to other peoples?”  
That was a thought. “Have you ever woke up laying on your stomach?”

Toki’s eyes widened. “Ja, but I sleeps that way a lots!” He hadn’t even _thought_ of that! Oh shit, what if Skwisgaar was raping them all? But surely- “I would knows though, rights? _Rights_?!”  
“Uh, no probably not. Not if he drugs you like he did me.”  
“Nathan? How does you knows this? How can you tells?”  
“He like... didn’t give me enough. The first time. And um, he said something about it.”  
“What the fucks you mean the _firsts_ time? You lets this keep happenings?! We’s got to stops him!”

“NO!! I just... don’t want anybody to know, okay? That, you know, that happened. To _me_.”  
Toki slapped him. Nathan stared at him in disbelief. _Nobody_ hit him, least of all Toki. “Whats?! You wants to let him just keeps doesing it forevers? Is that what you wants?! I don’ts want that, Nathan! I don’ts wants anybody doesing that to me!”  
Nathan looked away. “I need on hundred showers.”  
“Nathan, we has to stops him. You knows it.”

Toki was right. Nathan’s despair was slowly fading into rage. “Yeah, he’s gonna stop it. I should fucking kill him for this, that’s what he deserves!”  
Toki frowned. If Skwisgaar was dead, he was lead guitar! But he knew he really wasn’t good enough, the band needed Skwisgaar to thrive. “Maybe you not _quite_ kills him?”  
“Shut up Toki! You just keep your fucking mouth shut and let me deal with him!”  
Nathan got up and stalked off for a _very_ long shower.  
Toki headed for his own. He was worried, but there was really nothing he could do.

****

It didn’t take Nathan long to make a plan, elaborate planning wasn’t really his thing. Revenge, like in that ‘do back to others’ rule kids learned. (Something like that anyway, he’d never really paid attention to that crap.)  
In one of his random buying moods, Nathan had acquired several sets of police quality handcuffs. Now he just had to find them...  
And he did. Taking them and grabbing some rope, he headed for Skwisgaar’s room. They were creatures of habit, the room would be empty at this hour.

Once there, Nathan quickly tied the ropes to the bedframe. He only had three sets of handcuffs, so he tied one at the top of the bed and two at the bottom. That would do, Skwisgaar had skinny ankles. He briefly lay down to check the length of the ropes, they were very close in height. After a few adjustments, he tucked them under the bed and out of sight.  
Now it was a waiting game.  
Nathan joined the others, completely ignoring the worried looks that Toki kept throwing his way.   
Skwisgaar was still acting normal, that bastard.

****

Nathan’s patience was poor in the best of times, right now he had none at all.  
Skwisgaar had gone to bed, and he knew he needed to wait long enough to have some element of surprise. He could overpower him of course, but wanted to get him restrained with as little fight as possible.  
It had been long enough, hadn’t it? Creeping as silently as he was able, Nathan peeked into Skwisgaar’s room and smiled evilly. Not only was he asleep, he was sleeping sprawled on his stomach, almost perfectly positioned already.  
Nathan slipped into the room, quietly locking the door behind him.

Carefully he pulled out the first cuff, easing it around one bony ankle. They didn’t have to be tight here, feet were big. The high quality cuff closed almost soundlessly.  
The other ankle... This one was a bit of a stretch, but he got it.  
The rope for the hands was the shortest one, so it would be the hardest set to get him into. Nathan eased a cuff onto one wrist, closing it tight. The other arm wasn’t close, he had to pull it into position.  
Nathan felt the sudden tension in the arm he was moving, Skwisgaar was waking up. He quickly yanked it into position and snapped the cuff shut.

Skwisgaar woke up in a panic, his hands were trapped! He tried to get up, and felt more metal biting into his ankles. Nathan was there, glaring at him, looking positively deranged. He fought the restraints, even though he knew he had no chance of getting free.  
Nathan had some heavy scissors he’d used earlier to cut the ropes to length. He used them again now, to cut off Skwisgaar’s clothes.  
“Nathans, please lets me up!”  
“SHUT UP!! If you weren’t the fastest guitarist in the world you’d be dead right now!”

Skwisgaar whimpered. “What ams you goings to does?”  
“What do you think?! And you better not like it, you fucking slut!”  
Blood stained the white bedding, he’d cut himself fighting the metal restraints. “I never hurts you! I makes sure of dat! Don’ts, oh please _please_ don’ts...”  
Skwisgaar was naked. Nathan removed his own clothes and climbed onto the bed, shoving Skwisgaar flat with a heavy hand on the base of his neck. “Hold still!”  
He moved into position.

Skwisgaar was still fighting, Nathan could feel his panicked heart rate even from where his hand gripped, hear his choppy breathing. But he _deserved_ this. He had to pay for what he’d done.  
It was only fair.  
With a frustrated scream, Nathan punched the bed beside Skwisgaar’s face, scaring him into finally holding still.   
He couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t fucking do it. He knew too well just how horrible it felt.  
Pushing himself up, Nathan quickly dressed. “Try not to fuck up your hands anymore than you already have. I’ll uh, send someone to let you go.” He slammed the door on his way out.

****

It was three days before any of them saw Skwisgaar again, he’d been hospitalized for the (thankfully minor) damage to his wrists, and because of his mental state.  
He hadn’t thought he was hurting anyone, it was just a game he played. He’d always been so _careful_.   
Nathan had intended to rape him. Even though he hadn’t followed through, it had been far too close. Feeling so helpless, knowing that Nathan would likely tear him up inside, maybe even kill him with it...  
He couldn’t do that ever again, to anyone.

And he’d lost Toki’s admiration. That was something he’d come to take for granted and now it was gone, replaced with betrayed looks.  
He’d left a note for each of them, only two words: ‘It over.’ Knowing it had to be said, but being too cowardly to actually _say_ it.  
It was clear that Pickles and Murderface hadn’t been told. Well, that was two less people to worry about.  
He just wanted everything to be normal again, but normal was still so very far away...


End file.
